Jack & Pip: Some Dive Bar in Londontown

[handel]

[Continued from here.]


Somehow, they've gone from fisticuffs to a night out at a bar.

Pip isn't sure how, exactly... but that's often how it is with Jack. He could never quite keep up with the tempo of that man. Of when something was a joke or when it was serious, when things were stressed or when they were relaxed. Very possibly, it's his own fault. He tended to take seriously (and balk at) whatever Jack joked about, while imagining that some of the more outlandish tales Jack told about his life and London in general must be all folly (when in fact, time is more and more informing him, those stories were not.) Similarly, Jack always seemed to be rather too-relaxed about the things that Pip was rather too-stressed over. As a result, they moved to a very different beat of the drum, and Pip often found he was only halfway through the notes when suddenly Jack was dragging them both to a new page of music.

Case and Point: The dive-bar, the very night after his hangover, the very night after he'd sworn he'd never drink again. And drinking right beside the very man he'd almost taken to task over Estella's honour, at that.

He'd never really been to any of London's more reasonable drinking establishments-- he'd been told it was better to stick to shelling out money at member's clubs, 'seeing and being seen', whatever that meant.Hhe'd gathered, too, from Jaggers and from the general air of disdain for the common man his new social rung carried, that you didn't want to 'be seen' by the wrong people, which was what this bar was absolutely full of. Oddly, though, there really didn't seem to be anything wrong with the wrong people, just that they were rather more like Joe than they were like Estella: which meant, he'd feel much more comfortable here than he did at member's clubs, if he wasn't so uncomfortable with how comfortable it was.

...You can see why he'd be over-stressed, with thoughts like that.

Biting his lip out of a bad habit he meant to break, he'd take a seat beside Jack at the bar and peered over, for all appearances trying to hide himself in his coat collar, to avoid 'being seen.'

"Hello... ...are you sure that drinking more really cures the bad effects of alcohol?" Well, Nancy had said so, anyway. It just seemed like a hypocritical solution, to him.

Comments

[artfuldawkins]

Jack paused, the words hovering. Pip said someone. Singular. Should he...?

"That's what I was sayin', yeah."

No, it'd keep.

[handel]

"Would you... would you tell me about them?" Sitting back a little, trying to be patient and to listen now. He wasn't half bad at that at all, when he could unwrap his mind from the way it had been warped around Estella.

"Do they know how you feel?"

[artfuldawkins]

"... I reckon they do," Jack said evenly, staring into his own pint. "But it's not..." He paused, and shook his head, a bitter laugh coming from him. "But it ain't like anything can be. There's ... a lot an' that lot can't be shifted. So, that's that." Jack shrugged, and lifted and drained the last half of his pint, placing the glass back down when he was done.

"I'm getting another."

[handel]

"Like what? What is there in the world that you can't possibly shift?" Without missing a beat, he'd slide his mostly-full glass over. "You can have mine." He knew the effects of interludes on a conversation, after all, being rather the master of it with Joe, whether he meant to be or not. "Why do you think the lot can't be shifted? What does the matter come down to?"

[artfuldawkins]

"The matter comes down to needing a fresh pint, not something warmed over," Jack replied easily, standing and going to the bar to get a new one for himself. He needed the brief few minutes away from the table to gather his thoughts. Of course Pip would start asking, of course he would. But there was a lot he wasn't going to unpack. Sometimes even the Artful Dodger had stuff he couldn't shift.

[handel]

Well, they'd see about that, anyway.

Once Pip had it in his mind that someone needed something, he tended to feel an awful pull towards helping them get it, if they seemed like a worthwhile person. He didn't know that Jack was good exactly, but worthwhile?

He'd known criminals in his life, real thugs and bullies. Jack wasn't like that.

And everyone, as far as Pip could tell, deserved to be with the people they loved, who might love them. Anything less was torture, wasn't it?

[artfuldawkins]

Pip's opinion would change if he saw the way Jack would carefully lift from the people around him, more because he could than any real need to do it. Getting his pint, he nodded a thanks at the guy behind the bar, watching the till from the corner of his eye before he went back to the table. He knew the code to open it, could do it easily.

... He wasn't in the mood.

"Right, that's better."

[handel]

Looking up at him, expectantly.

Not a single word to pass from his lips, as he'd already laid his questions out bare. Now it was time for Jack to answer them in whatever order he would.

And not make the excuse of warm beer. In London, it all seemed warm to start with.

[artfuldawkins]

Jack looks back, poker faced.

"What?"

[handel]

An irate shuffle and a heaved sigh. Incorrigible, this one.

"Your love. What's so impossible about it?"

[artfuldawkins]

"Never said impossible, said nothing were goin' to happen," Jack said, taking a drink from his pint. Pip really did like to make things more dramatic than they had any right to be.

[handel]

The opposite of 'not going to happen' seemed like it should be 'possible', and possible seemed like the opposite of 'impossible', which... well, he didn't really see the linguistic difference, frankly. Jack was just a frustrating human being.

Narrowing his eyes in confusion, he'd give a small shrug.

"Well, all right. Have it your way. Why won't it happen, then? Have you told them outright how you feel about them?"

[artfuldawkins]

Jack had that odd feeling that things were always that bit simpler in Pip's head than they were in reality. If he hadn't said impossible, then it should be possible. He figured that Pip took not going to happen to mean impossible otherwise it would be possible. Nah, not always.

"Yeah. They know." There was a casual shrug. "Don't mean anything's going to happen. That's the whole 'unconditional' bit right there."

[handel]

"Oh... I see. Your feelings aren't returned then?" Things were as simple as they were complex in his mind.

Case and point: Estella said she could not love him back. He accepted this in his head, but not in his bone marrow, where loving her stuck too deep. He'd love her always and forgive her always, and it wasn't contingent on whether or not she returned those feelings. People said to let go, because being together was impossible. Her feelings made it impossible. But also impossible was letting go.

He couldn't fathom why people could tell you to do the impossible, then say those things which couldn't ever happen still were possible. Didn't it mean they understood why letting go wasn't an option?

"Or does some other object stand in your way?"

[artfuldawkins]

Jack did not answer either question, but instead simply raised his eyebrow as if silently asking Pip if he really thought he was going to get an answer that easily.

In one case his feelings were returned, in another they could never be returned. In another... well, who knew what was going on there. Frankly, it's all a bit mixed up in his own mind.

[handel]

Pip stared back, round-faced and round-eyed and not quite getting the need for silence. People rarely said what they meant, and more rarely still told the full story-- this, he understood about life now. Most people weren't like Herbert, filled with exuberant honesty that they handed out like daisies and often suffered for doing so. Most people were more reserved.

But he'd never really met someone who said nothing at all, and relied on body language so heavily, like Jack. He'd stare at that raised brow for a very long moment; too long, probably; before he realised Jack didn't intend on answering.

"...all right. And you are not simply able to just 'get over' them either, are you?" If Jack wouldn't talk about himself, then they could talk about their middle ground.

[artfuldawkins]

"No," he agreed, "but unlike you I ain't sitting around moonin' over 'em, am I?" He gave another look, hoping that this time it got through to Pip that was he was doing? Well, it weren't exactly what anyone could label as being good for him

[handel]

"Well how should I know? You don't say anything about it even when you're asking. You very well might be mooning over it, or doing some other thing about it that's equally bad, like pretending it doesn't hurt. And besides-- I do things other than just think of Estella."

Like. Learn how to dance, for Estella. And give away all of his money to Herbert without him knowing. And try not to piss of Jaggers.

All fantastic hobbies.

[artfuldawkins]

"An' how of what you do is motivated by what she might like?"

[handel]

"A lot of it, I guess... but also, it's not really as if I have a choice." Because a lot of what he assumed she'd like, he also had to do to meet the requirements laid out by his benefactor. He'd started out in life with no money and no choices, and now he had rather a lot of money and still no choices. So either way, it wasn't as if he could do much to displease her, without making a fool of himself to his handlers.

[artfuldawkins]

"Everyone's got a choice. Options aren't always the best, but there's a choice." This is why Jack was glad he was largely left to his own devices

[handel]

Shaking his head.

"No. Not me."

The only options were: go home and learn to be a Farrier for the local steel and metalworks (his original track), or stick on the path he had now and become a 'gentleman'.

But that was really no choice at all, was it? Because if he didn't do the latter, Herbert would never be out of debt, and would never have the life he wanted. And Pip couldn't do that to him. Even if he did quit at this, it wasn't as if he'd have a choice. He couldn't leave Joe to do the work alone on a whim. That would be giving a good man a bad turn.

So the only option was to stay the course.

[artfuldawkins]

As Jack would point out to him; that what he described right there? That was making a choice. Juat because he didn't think it was, doesn't mean it weren't. But Pip was an odd one, weren't he?

"Whatever you say."

[handel]

For someone utterly convinced he was a probably a bad sort of person and the most ungrateful man on earth, Pip could never quite see helping someone as a 'choice'. He could dislike it, complain about it, feel matters were unfair. But when it came down to it, the only way he knew was to help when someone needed it. Even if they didn't know he was helping.

Good people, people like Herbert, they deserved that help more than he deserved opting not to give it.

"...maybe I'll have the beer after all." Tugging it back and taking another sip.

[artfuldawkins]

"Good choice," Jack could only smirk at him.